When you have experienced sufficient grief a common saying is “give it time, time heals all wounds.” This saying often leaves individuals feeling dismissed, not understood, and hurt.

Time only moves forward. The reflection of the pain, the hurt, and of the absence is important in pulling the meaning of the loss. The meaning in the life they lived (or the role that was, etc); depending on the type of grief you’re faced with a different focus.

Time is nothing but a measurement of space between two points. Grief doesn’t get smaller in that. Grief’s focus can switch many times, it can get heavier and lighter to carry, it can be more confusing and more understanding can be pulled. The idea grief goes away—- is damaging to those that have dealt with sufficient grief in their lives!

Understanding that when you’re wanting to show up in someone else’s grief story. Showing up and saying less is often more supportive than saying “give it time, you’ll heal soon”. Just show up and witness their pain. Being present.